Points of Breaking and Hypertrophy
by Iliya Moroumetz
Summary: Even under righteous indignation, revenge done against friends carry heavy repercussions. And it will cost nothing less than everything you have and are to mend the wounds. Approved by a professional Psychologist.
1. Chapter 1

**A Word of Warning:**  
This story is meant as a sequel to this story http: / masseffectkink. livejournal. com /3083. html? thread= 6658571# t6658571 that was written on the Mass Effect Kink meme, where writers can post, anonymously, their stories with few, if any restrictions, of what they like. That includes; dubious consent, non-consent, mind control and so on. The story linked about contains a copious amount of non-consent, since it was requested by a prompt in the meme itself.

Here is a summary if you want the shortened version as the story is rather long. Otherwise, continue to the next chapter for the real story:

START SUMMARY

Ashley Williams, Council Spectre, is called in to go undercover to an underground tournament in Omega where a Prothean Artifact is up for grabs. The stipulation is that only women invited by Aria can participate and with a contact provided by Liara T'soni, an asari commando named Rhia, Ashley attends the competition.

Once on Omega, Ashley encounters Karen Shepard, who is merely an audience member, but recruited a few of her own team members to stack the odds to win the tournament in Liara's favor. Shepard tries to steer Ashley away from entering the tournament, but remains condescendingly obtuse about its true nature. Enraged, Ashley leaves her and meets up with her contact, who also made it clear that certain details about the event were left out in order to obtain her assistance. To Ashley's horror, the tournament, Total Domination, is a spectator show comprised of female fighters meant to use lubricious methods to dominate, overpower, and utterly humiliate their opponents for the enjoyment of Aria and the audience.

Before Ashley attempts to bow out, other competitors, plus memories of Shepard's previous attempt to dissuade her from entering, taunt her and Ashley, not willing to take lip from anyone, stays in with her contact and partner, Rhia. Initially, Ash attempts to win with brute force, but finds the rules are made so that the entertainment of the audience, rather than her military training, are what enables one to win. Reluctantly, Ash gets into it and throughout the evening, exchanges glances as Shepard, in the audience, as though her former commander is still taunting her.

Later on, Jack and Miranda, entered as Shepard's request, approach Ash and her partner and request to simply beat them, as biotics are forbidden in the ring, instead of completely humiliating them. Ash and her partner agree, but never intended to keep their word, as Ashley holds no respect for Cerberus or for Shepard for not informing her about the tournament earlier, and is determined to win.

Other competitors are defeated quickly by an unknown participant, even the antagonistic and physically abusive champion from previous years, or drop out as Ash is forced, by Rhia, to beat her when the asari's confidence shakes, having come within a hair's breadth of victory several years in a row.

For the final round, Aria breaks Ash's cover, rendering the entire audience hostile to her presence, being a Council Spectre. She promises a better show when it is revealed that Shepard had pulled some strings, possibly by revealing Ashley's identity, and allowed her entry into the competition at the last minute.

Ash, fatigued, is forced to go against a fresh, and Cerberus enhanced, Shepard and finds victory utterly impossible. During their scuffle, Shepard repeatedly taunts Ashley, either by saying that the video had been hacked and recorded so as to show her family or claim Ash wanted to be intimate with Shepard the whole time. Ash resists, but is clearly outclassed and a timely ending of the round shortly prevents an inevitable defeat.

Despite her best efforts, Ashley is soundly defeated and during her humiliation, Shepard says that what she was doing, and what she intends to do, was not to be cruel or vindictive, merely to do right by her crew. And since Ashley had humiliated Jack and Miranda out of a grudge against Shepard, Shepard now does the same to Ash.

Ash is then horrified to learn that due to Shepard's victory, she is free to do with Ash whatever, and however, she wants for as long as she wants. Ash begs for mercy to Shepard, aware of the environment of Omega and what it could do to her. Shepard gives her word, however, makes no promises in regard to Miranda and Jack who return the humiliate her.

To add to the spectacle, Jack and Miranda then allow the audience to participate in the humiliation in a limited manner. For hours, Ashley is forcibly used. Once completed, Miranda and Jack once again humiliate Ash. When it seems that it's finally over, Shepard informs Ash, in a twisted piece of irony, that she never intended to keep her promise in the first place. And so, she gleefully utilizes a torturous sex toy to render Ashley unconscious.

When Ashley awakens, she finds herself within Aria's apartment, wondering why she's still alive at this point. Aria informs her that Shepard has left, and Rhia has been banished, rendering Ashley without a method of escape. However, Aria reveals that she already knew about Ashley long before and intends to let the Spectre go to redeem herself in the eyes of the Council, keep the Council out of her business, and acquire a favor from a Spectre, by allowing her to deliver the artifact instead, since the trophy Shepard received was a fake.

However, the stipulation is that Ashley is to preform intimately for Aria. Begrudgingly, Ashley agrees. After that, Aria then reveals that she had no intention of releasing Ashley or the Artifact and intends to keep the Spectre as a slave, since once the footage of the competition is released on the extranet, the Council and effectively everyone she knows, will have nothing to do with her.

Amid gloating, Aria reveals the trophy one last time, only to find a single rose in its place. Enraged, Aria demands to know what became of it, however, Ashley was in no position to do anything. With the guards summoned, she orders them to toss her out an airlock. To her shock, she discovers that all the footage from the tournament, in addition to the security footage to discover who stole the artifact, had been completely wiped and threatens the guards if they don't dispose of Ashley immediately.

When all seems lost for Ashley, Rhia appears, kills the guards, escapes Omega with Ashley, and becomes her partner when she returns to Spectre duty. Back at the Shadow Broker's base, Shepard informs Liara that it was her whole plan all along to use Ashley as a distraction to get the artifact in the first place with Kasumi. Knowing that Ashley will want retribution, she informed Tali to hack into the video feeds and keep her activities in the tournament as blackmail material. When asked how she can be so cruel, Shepard claims that she does right by her crew.

END SUMMARY

The intent of the story was meant to be the standard erotic story with a bent of non-consent. However, the author, admittedly, had serious misgivings when he completed it, as his original outline had not progressed as far as it did. Even the justification for a supposedly Paragon Shepard that went so violently Renegade out of nowhere; that Shepard looks out for her crew, felt poorly executed, as per his words.

The story, as it was written, left me unsettled, along with a few others. It had, to my surprise, bothered me so much that I felt compelled to write a sequel fill (With the permission of the original author), which dealt with the harsh reality of such fantasies when taken into the real world and out of fiction, since it was supposed to be fiction in the first place. Because I felt that the Shepard at the beginning of the story, seemed so Paragon, that for her to go completely overboard with torturing, humiliating and degrading Ashley, despite her not being my favorite character, was baffling. So, I had to come up with an explanation as to why and this was the result.

Writing this story turned out to be cathartic for me and in the end, helped me to find that writing itself is a catharsis for me. And now I share it with you. .


	2. Chapter 2

It would always start the same way.

Ashley Williams would relive that horrid experience on Omega from start to finish.

And it would always end with Shepard, with a sadistically demonic visage, pushing that horrid... thing... into her, pounding her hard enough to break her in two.

Literally.

The instant the first signs of blood appeared, she would wake up in a cold sweat, amid screams and rabid flails of her limbs.

Not even Rhia, her Asari contact and subsequent partner, could keep the night terrors away. It had been rosy at first, however, if time was supposed to heal all wounds, then Ashley had been bleeding profusely for roughly the past several months. Had it been that long? Time seemed to move in a blur since it happened.

To think she had been ready to jump for joy at the prospect of becoming a Spectre. To finally given the chance to erase the shame her grandfather unintentionally placed upon her. It had been too good to be true. One of her first missions as an initiate, meant only as a quick infiltration, grab, and run, had gone so terribly awry that she wished she could go back in time.

She'd smack herself for taking that stupid mission in the first place. Smack herself for being so eager and proud to prove herself when she was, in fact, way out of her league.

And what did it get her?

Destitution.

* * *

Karen Shepard had a bad feeling when she had received a message from Liara that simply said 'We need to talk. Now.'. Liara was often more verbose than that.

Even though the Normandy had long since been cleaned of its Cerberus influence, Karen always felt it best to speak with her, face to face.

When she had finally arrived, Liara sat at the desk in her private office, typing on her keyboard. Before, she had always acknowledged Shepard's approach. Now, she seemed simultaneously cold and furious.

"Liara, what's wrong?" she asked.

The asari stopped her nonstop flow of orders to her immense network of contacts and turned her chair to face her lover.

"Normally, I would berate you for being unaware. However, I suppose I can afford you some leeway, since you are still effectively in hiding."

Karen already had a bad idea of where this was headed.

Liara interlinked her fingers on the edge of her desk and continued. "When I requested your assistance in retrieving that Prothean artifact from Aria, I felt it was necessary to stack the odds in my favor. In fact, it was your suggestion that I enlist the help of the Council, well aware they would try and take it and let it gather dust. Perhaps it would have been better had you said nothing."

"Liara, I-"

The asari interrupted calmly, "Please let me finish. You wanted to bring out Ashley once more in hopes of, as you humans say, burying the hatchet. It was commendable. And I firmly believed that had Ash had been made aware of your presence or of the nature of the tournament beforehand, she would have been a bit more amenable to it as well. It had been a while after Horizon and she had most likely since cooled off."

The frown on Liara's face grew. "While I can certainly understand how betrayed and angry you felt at seeing Ashley treat Miranda and Jack the way she did, that was absolutely no excuse for you to not only emulate her, but to go even further as to make her seem saintly by comparison."

Karen frowned in response. "Ash broke her word! And in case you forgot what she did to Miranda and Jack, I felt it more than appropriate."

Liara's face was a full on scowl now. "And that made it perfectly acceptable to subject her to collective genitals of the entire audience for two and a half hours? If not three? In addition to using that torture device disguised as a sex toy to the point where it nearly broke her pelvic bone? Don't misunderstand me, Shepard, I am grateful for you for retrieving the artifact, but to use Ash as a distraction in such a manner was deplorable! Never mind the fact that her life was in danger, whether being outright killed or living as a slave to Aria when she found out!"

"Damn it, Liara. She fucked with my crew!" Shepard yelled back.

"Karen, she *is* your crew! And you've done worse!" Liara screamed heatedly as she quickly turned back to her console, tapped several keys, and turned back as all the screens on the Shadow Broker's desk quickly changed.

Each and every screen held the same thing.

Video feeds of Ashley, in her sleep, crying and begging 'Make it stop, Shepard. Please, make it stop.' before she would thrash about wildly. Several of the images had another asari at her side, trying to keep her calm, unsuccessfully, before Ash would wake up in a cold sweat and frightened.

It was then Shepard realized that for each time one of the recordings ended, a brand new one would start right after it. From the twenty screens above Liara, each one had played an individual and non-repeated recording of a similar horrifying scene of Ash's agony.

Not since Torfan had Karen found her voice completely gone. Her face remained neutral, finding any reason to claim that Ash had it coming, but a small voice in the back of her head said that any reason she could come up with was complete and utter bullshit.

"I couldn't keep it in any longer," Liara said ashamed as she stood up and carried a data pad to her lover. She then handed Shepard the information without saying a word.

With each new entry did Karen realize the full implications of her actions.

Liara's soft voice returned, only the edge hadn't left it. "I first thought like you did, however, the longer I watched Ash suffer, the more convinced I became that I was wrong. That what happened to her was wrong."

A million thoughts flooded Karen's head as she replied in the same volume. "What do I do?"

There was no hesitation in Liara's speech. This had clearly bothered her as well. There was also a sadness in her eyes as she whispered, "reconcile with her. Ask for her forgiveness. Beg, if you need to. You humans live far too short a life to waste it holding grudges. You and Ashley mean far too much to me to see you two hate each other."

Shepard blanched. "Liara, it's not that easy. You saw what I did. You really think she's just going to say 'oh, water under the bridge.'?"

The asari shook her head. "No. In fact, if you were to encounter each other again, I can wager a guess it won't end any better than the last time."

Karen's frowned returned and she shoved the datapad back to Liara as she took a frustrated stroll around the room. "Then why bother? It's not like she's going to change her mind. She sure as hell didn't after Horizon."

Liara's tone changed to the same poisonous whisper when they had first reunited after Karen's resurrection. "Because if you do not, then you and I will have nothing more to speak of. Ever!"

Shepard was shocked at the threat. "Liara, you can't be serious."

The asari was unmoved, but at the same time she was ready to break in a combination of sorrow and anger. "I am deadly serious, Shepard. Though Ash and I had our differences, she never showed the same level of vitriol I saw you exhibit back on Omega. What you did to her was despicable. Moreover, it was not something the woman I fell in love with would ever do. Not even to her most hated enemy. I refuse to love a monster, Karen. You of all people know this."

The Shadow Broker handed her the data pad again, then returned to her desk and continued her activities as though Shepard had never shown up.

"But, Liara-"

"Good day, Commander Shepard!" the asari said without turning to her. The conversation, at this point, was over.

Aware that nothing would bring her out of this, Karen slowly gave her one last glance, as the last of Ash's trauma played out on the screens above to return to the same data streams that scrolled upwards before.

When the doors closed, she had a feeling that until she had patched things up with Ashley, she was not going to get past them again.

"Wow, she sure read you the riot act," Kasumi said without her usual humor as her cloak disengaged.

Shepard could not respond to that as she looked back to the data pad and admitted to herself, reluctantly, that she needed to go to the place she wanted to go least.

The rehabilitation center on Shanxi, where Ashley had committed herself.

* * *

Good, Ashley thought morosely, the meds were kicking in.

If she was lucky, she'd be able to at least get a good nap in before the sun set and another set of night terrors to deal with. It wouldn't be anything new. However, the worst part was that she'd never get used to them. It was like fresh wounds, miraculously healed for the sole purpose of opening them up again.

She looked down to her withered, pale, and spotted hands on her lap, their vitality long gone. Not to mention the scars on her wrists from failed suicide attempts. Already, the inclination to take the wheelchair she was now confined to, to the nearest cliff and toss herself over it came back. However, the chilled air of Shanxi made even that prospect difficult, as her body lacked the strength to stand up, let alone wheel herself over the edge of a cliff to end her suffering.

Here she was. Not even forty, and already her body had wasted away as though she were already three times her age.

Had she really fallen so far? It had been months since she had seen or heard from her family. A conscious decision on her part. When the first signs of her symptoms manifested, she purposefully stay away from her loved ones. If she was lucky, they would have disassociated themselves with her by now if they got hold of the footage that brought her to this state.

And even if they didn't, she couldn't bare the thought of them looking at her with their eyes full of pity. Ashley, the best of this current generation of Williams, reduced from a highly trained soldier and respected Council Spectre to a shivering wreck of a person. Even more galling was the fact they had no idea what she had endured, but could only make guesses.

She was too ashamed to let her mother see what she had become. Her oldest baby, used and thrown away like some cheap Omega prostitute. No, not a prostitute. They got paid at least, if they were lucky. She had forsaken her dignity, her honor, and everything else short of her life and for what? An open air cell in colony no one cared about.

"Ms. Williams. You have a visitor," the voice of the nurse said from the communicator on her wheelchair.

"Not in the mood," Ashley's voice croaked.

"Um, they insist on seeing you," her caretaker answered.

Ashley sighed, and her lungs burned slightly in response, "Fine."

The door opened and she didn't bother to turn to see whom her visitor was. Partially because she couldn't. She looked to the left to see the last person she wanted to see ever slowly walk up and take a seat beside her on the wooden patio of her room.

Ash's sunken and bloodshot eyes narrowed in unbridled hate at Karen Shepard as she regarded her with a completely neutral expression.

"So, Shepard. Come to finish me off? No. That didn't seem to be your style. Come to gloat? Tell me my family disowned me after showing them that footage? Going to taunt me again about how I wanted to get into your pants the whole damn time?" she growled.

When Karen got a better look at Ash's condition, she could help but mutter, "Ashley... what happened to you?"

The former Spectre's frown deepened. "What do you think? When you're forced to give blow jobs and fucked against your will by a few hundred of Omega's finest, you have a tendency to contract various STDs that have a nasty habit of having their degenerative qualities multiplied when they work in tandem. And by the way, I'm doing *fine*! Thanks for asking!"

She turned away from her former squadmate, her bitterness back with a vengeance.

To her shock, Shepard repeated, "Ash, what happened?"

Ashley whirled back, despite the pain in her joints, "What do you think happened, you self-righteous cunt! YOU BROKE ME!" She pointed to the wheelchair she was confined to, "You see this? This is what you did! Using that... thing before you tossed me as a present to Aria did such a number on my nervous system, I can't even walk anymore! You best be happy, because I sure as hell ain't!"

Her breathing became ragged and staggered as she continued to rage, "I thought I'd be over it after Rhia and I teamed up and went back to Spectre work, but I didn't. It wasn't long before the nightmares kept repeating over and over again. If I'm lucky, I can get half decent night's sleep without waking up in the middle of the night, screaming at the image of you splitting me in half with that fuckin' dildo whatsherface had. It got so bad that I told Rhia to go. She deserved better than a shattered wreck like me."

With noticeable difficulty, she turned her hands upward to see the degradation that had occurred. "And despite the best medical care the Spectres got, the infections I got wouldn't go away. I tried fighting it as hard as I could, but in the end, my body couldn't take it anymore and I had to quit the program. With what money I'd saved I've been able to least keep the diseases at bay, but, as you can see, there's not much left."

Ashley noticed Shepard move up from her seat and move to stand in front of her. While it was slightly gratifying to see the guilt and pained expression on Shepard's face, it didn't do much else.

"I'm sorry, Ash."

Ashley's eyes grew wide as she looked up to her tormentor. Her hands began to shake as her breath started to grow rapid, completely ignoring the burning sensation that she was informed to call the nurse if she ever experienced it.

"Sorry? That's all you got to say? SORRY? In case you had a brain hemorrhage and forgot, you pretty much fucked me over to the point where I'm having a hell of a time breathing! You really think 'Sorry' is going to undo all that?"

Liquid pain seared through Ashley's arms, but she was beyond caring as she stood up on shaky legs, grabbed Karen by the front of her uniform, held her close, and hissed, "I hate you! You know that? Bad enough you try come out of nowhere to fuck up my mission, but you enslaved me to Aria fucking T'Loak! Did you really hate me *that* much?"

Immediately, Ash's strength left her and she collapsed on the ground at Karen's feet. She grit her teeth, curled up as tightly as she could, and tried to keep the sobs inside, but it was too much for her when she finally broke down, muttering 'I hate you' repeatedly.

"I'm sorry, Ash." she repeated.

From the ground, the former Spectre glared up to her. "As much as I would love to see every Vorcha pack and Varren on Omega skullfuck you to death, I know it won't do any good. Should have known better than to think I could ever beat Commander Fucking Shepard," Ashley burbled between sniffs.

"I messed up, Ash. I'm so sorry," Karen repeated a third time.

"Well, 'Sorry' don't change the past, Shepard! While you're out there doing who knows what, I'm stuck here, drowning in my own juices, just waiting for the moment when the meds won't work anymore. That is what Hell is, Shepard! Being a soldier that can't fight! Why did you take that from me? Why didn't you just kill me instead of reducing me to this? WHY, DAMN IT?"

Shepard's mouth was open, no words came.

Once more, pain flooded Ashley's arms as she tried to push herself up to her knees to get back in her wheelchair. When Karen knelt down to pick her up, Ashley yanked her arm away. "Don't you dare touch me! I don't need your damn help!" she snarled as she crawled.

Shepard stood helpless as Ashley, amid violent coughs, clumsily sat herself, but the glare in her sunken eyes hadn't left.

Ashley's breathing was hoarse and ragged, as she croaked, "So, if all you came to do was apologize. You've done it. Now get out. I never want to see you again. After all, the galaxy needs you to stop Reapers, right? Nevermind the people you fuck over in the process."

Ashley's guest remained still as the former Spectre realized, with a scowl, that she was actually defying her.

"Damn it, Shepard. Didn't you hear me? Or did all of those upgrades suddenly make you deaf and stupid? GET O-"

She would have continued her screech had she experienced another violent fit of coughing. However, unlike before, it was getting worse quickly. So quickly that Shepard noticed this and was about to call the nurse when she noticed blood flooding out of Ashley's mouth.

"Joker!" she yelled into her comm as she summoned the kodiak from the entrance of the hospital to Ashley's small unit at its edge, "I need Chakwas and Mordin prepped and ready yesterday!"

* * *

"Well,' Dr. Chakwas said with a sigh of relief, "we've stabilized her and it was rather fortunate that you were there when you were. I highly doubt the hospital, as well funded and equipped as they are, would have been able to save her."

"...good," Shepard said as she sat on the mess hall table with her face buried in her hands. She then turned to the good doctor and asked, "I sense a 'but' in there."

Chakwas nodded morosely. "We were lucky to catch her before it got worse. However, she's barely holding on as it is. Unless we do something soon, she's not going to last the week."

Karen closed her eyes in anguish. How was the news of her death going to affect her family... especially when she knew she was directly responsible for Ashley's demise? It'd be a repeat of Virmire all over again, only she had willingly, even eagerly, placed Ash in that position.

"Is there anything we can do?" she asked, desperate as her heart pounded faster, but unsure if anything would come of it.

Both Chakwas and Mordin looked to each other, unsure how to reply. That was, until EDI's spoke up.

"If I may, Commander. Perhaps I can offer a suggestion."

Shepard looked up and said tiredly, "I'm all ears, EDI."

"Cerberus protocol dictates that whenever a branch is compromised, all relevant data is sent to a backup location and is purged at the branch. Before our detachment from Cerberus proper, I had been able to access and acquire everything about their activities... including the Lazarus Project."

Both women and salarian were shocked at the revelation.

"Could the information in the Lazarus Project help her?" Chakwas asked, curious despite never actually been in the branch.

"Affirmative. I have been overseeing Ashley Williams' condition at the request of Dr. T'Soni to see if any information I had been able to procure would assist in her recovery. And many of the advances made under Project Lazarus, in addition to the upgrades we have acquired along the way, would be more than adequate to treat her."

Shepard smiled at the mention of Liara. She always seemed to know better. "What materials do we need?"

"We have all the materials we need to modify a treatment for Ms. Williams. However, the problem being that it will require time; a resource we do not have."

There was a tense silence as both doctors looked to Shepard, since it was all, both blame and salvation, on her shoulders.

"Do it."

The doctors nodded and walked off to begin preparations for what could be the biggest operation of their careers. When they had walked out of earshot, Karen turned on her communicator.

"Hey, Tali?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Did you delete and purge those files about Ash I asked you to hold on to?"

"I did."

"...good. Now that I think about it, we never really needed them."

"I agree... and thank you, Shepard. I hope Ash will be alright."

* * *

Miranda frowned as she looked at the various elements they had discovered during their hunt for the Collectors consolidated into the various restorative replacements and upgrades to ensure Ashley Williams' survival.

"Commander, I would like to let you know that I object to this. She made the mistake of coming to Omega in the first place."

"Noted, Miranda. But bear in mind, I made the mistake of letting my anger get the better of me too many times. I refuse to let her die because of it."

Miranda paused for a moment before she crossed her arms with the data pad tucked under her shoulder. "Is it to try and assuage your guilt for what happened? Commander, you should not blame yourself for-"

Shepard interrupted her as she moved another package of palladium on the counter in Mordin's lab. "No, Miranda. I'm the one who tossed her to that pack of wolves. I should have picked her up and got her out of there before Aria did."

Miranda shook her head and went back to the list of mandatory upgrades that would save Ashley's life: Biosynthetic Skin Patches, Tendons, and Tissues, Bone Weaves, Medigel Glands, Nanomachines, Krogan Immunity and Vitality Genes, and Muscular Trauma Resonators, among others. Now that Miranda realized, it, they were pretty much doing to her what they did for Shepard, though not to the extent to restore her from death. However, she'd be enhanced to the point where there may as well have been two Shepards running around.

"You realize that she still may not forgive you, even if you save her life. She may kill you if she recovers."

Shepard was still for a moment before she nodded. "I know, but I have to make this right."

Miranda, aware of how far Shepard went for her crew, then asked softly, "If you don't mind my asking, is there any particular reason why you're going this far for her."

Karen was about to exit the lab when she stopped at the door, which kept it open. "I'll tell you about it, sometime. I promise."

The former Cerberus operative nodded, well aware that Shepard would keep her word.

* * *

"We have nothing to speak of, Shepard," Samara said tersely.

She was not pleased when she heard of the altercation at Omega and had made it quite clear. Until now, Shepard had always attempted to justify her actions to her, but she would have none of it, for retribution would belong to the Goddess. Ever since Ash had been brought on board, she had approached the Justicar to assist in her mental recovery. Three times Samara had refused.

Upon the fourth time, Samara had stopped her meditations and stood up to stare at her directly.

"Your actions on Omega and against your friend have egregiously violated the Code so, had I not been under oath to you, I would have killed you without hesitation. I wish to know why I should assist in the recovery of one you have wronged so horribly, when you knew yourself that what you have done was wrong?"

Pathetically, Shepard looked to the floor, as though she had been punished by a harsh teacher for misconduct.

"She'll die, otherwise."

The Matriarch regarded her with leveled eyes and a narrowed mouth.

"As a result of your choices."

The single statement stung Karen to the core as she struggled to maintain her composure.

"I am no stranger to errors made in the heat of the moment, Shepard. However, to even try and excuse yourself for your actions and expect absolution is a hypocrisy that I will not abide!"

Karen closed her eyes and looked to the floor. "I'm not looking for absolution."

The Justicar did not move. "Then what are you looking for?"

"I'm not entirely sure. Even if I was, I know there's a real chance that she'll never forgive me. But I have to do something."

Samara was not entirely convinced.

"Then why bother attempting to save her if she may seek your life afterwards?"

Karen was silent for a very long moment.

"I don't know," she whispered, "but I have to try."

The Matriarch regarded her quietly, even as she turned her head to consider her words, she said in a sagely tone, "It is often said that in youth, we err to reap the benefits of experience in age. However, considering our often flawed and mortal states, the lessons we sometimes learn are often paid out harshly in the form of scars that may or may not heal. Such is the price of experience."

The human looked up to the Justicar as she stepped forward.

"For what it's worth, Commander, save for your conduct on Omega, you have done little to give me reason to kill you. And we Justicars are aware that if we were to fully follow every law, every precept, every line of the Code, there would be no one left alive, not even us. I, myself, have violated my code in order to search for my wayward child. Though your actions have tainted you in the eyes of the Goddess, you may yet find purity in your attempts to reconcile. It may take you months, years, perhaps the rest of your life to truly find what you seek. And so, as per your request, I shall aid your friend."

Humbled, Shepard bowed her head in gratitude and whispered, "Thank you."

Samara held a hand up as though she were to interrupt. "Understand that I will assist your friend without question, however, bear in mind, and remember, that this has tainted you in my eyes and Justicars do not forget."

The asari's eyes then narrowed. "'And I hope for both of our sakes that she does not seek revenge until your mission is over, commander. Should I be compelled to kill an innocent you've wronged so grievously, I will not hesitate to act when released from my service to you."

"I understand," Karen whispered, aware of just how deeply she had erred.

* * *

When Ashley could remember last, she felt a thick fluid on her hand as she was coughing on Shanxi.

Now, she floated in darkness. A thick and black mist that would not allow her passage nor sight. It was then it grabbed her. The same monstrous version of Shepard that had tormented her for the past several months. She tried to scream and resist in any fashion, but it was impossible. When it was ready to violate her once more, a new voice intruded.

"...find hope in the Strength of the Goddess..."

From behind, the demonic version of Shepard had been impaled by an unfamiliar hand. Yet, there was no blood as the monster screamed and eventually dissipated into nothing. Ash, weakened, could not see whom it was, however, the radiance of the visitor brought a sense of serenity she had not known for the longest time.

The newcomer, feminine from her outline, emanated a sense of regal dignity and calm that left the former Spectre in awe. However, the woman slowly knelt beside her, gently scooped her up into her arms and held her tightly as though she were her own daughter.

Somehow, the newcomer drew out whispers and memories, hidden away in the deepest part of her heart so that tragedy nor time would ever be able to touch them.

"_You're a Williams, Ash. You're better than the best,"_ her father had said calmly.

Disgrace quickly filled her as she replied, "How can I be? Not like this..."

"_I'm proud of *you*, Ash. I always am and always will be."_ Her father said with pride, purposefully noted that it was her, as opposed to merely her accomplishments.

"Daddy?" Ash whimpered against the shoulder her savior. "Are you still proud of me?"

As though it were a vision, she saw her father, beaming with pride and affection as he saluted her. _"What do you think?"_

Slowly, but noticeably, the shame and sorrow ebbed away, which left only peace in its wake.

* * *

"...u hear me?," Ashley heard a somewhat familiar voice as she returned to the waking world.

To her relief, she saw Dr. Chakwas over her and gave her a kind smile.

"How are you, dear?" she whispered warmly.

"Is there anything worse than 'complete shit'?"she whispered weakly with a wry smirk. Her head throbbed as though someone had beaten her over the head with a Taunka Truck wheel and the rest of her body felt stiff as a board..

The doctor chuckled as she replied, "Oh, we can think of a few things. But for now, Ashley, you need to recover."

Recalling the various times her bravado had gotten her hurt more times than she could count during their hunt for Saren, she croaked, "I promise nothing."

The Doctor rolled her eyes and was about to take her leave when Ashley asked, "Wait... what are you doing on Shanxi, Doc?"

Dr. Chakwas considered her question a moment before she took off her gloves and said, "My dear, you're not on Shanxi. They would not have been able to save you there. You're on the Normandy SR-2."

She continued despite Ash's stunned reaction. "Shepard was visiting you at the hospital when you passed out from an internal hemorrhage due to stress. It was only a matter of time when it was going to happen, so, it wouldn't have mattered if Shepard had appeared or not. The bottom line is this; you're alive. You're going to recover. And you and Karen will have much to talk about when you're feeling better. So, please; just rest for now. You'll have all your questions answered soon. I promise."

Ashley said nothing as she reluctantly did as the doctor ordered. She still felt weak and lethargic, however, for a reason she couldn't fathom, her body didn't ache the way it did not too long ago as sleep slowly took her.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Miranda asked again with a frown.

"Yes, Miranda. I started this and now I'm going to finish it," Shepard said resolutely. "I am going to speak with her alone and that is final."

At the other end of the mess hall, Jack snorted. "Shoulda just capped her when you had the chance."

"Jack," Shepard warned and the convict only folded her arms and frowned.

Miranda was still adamant. "That's besides the point. She already knows she's not on Shanxi, and when last I remember, her most prominent memory of you was you sticking a bloody log in her. I don't think she'll be in the mood to talk."

Karen turned to the doors, still locked, aware of how easily and how quickly it could go wrong. "I'm aware of that."

Miranda realized that she wouldn't be able to talk her out of this, sighed and said, "At least take something to defend yourself with, just in case."

Shepard hoisted up the Striker IX as it unfolded itself from seemingly nowhere. "You mean this?"

Both Miranda and Jack had to blink once to realize that she had been able to hide it on her person in plain sight. However, before they had a chance to question where she put it, it vanished again and she strode to the medical bay.

"Ash?" she said as the door closed behind her. However, to her surprise, the cot Ashley would have laid on was empty. She didn't have time to react when the person in question had landed directly behind her, kicked her knees out from under her, and within a second found her arms bound against the grip of one hand and pinned against the floor.

"Not so much fun when you're the bitch on the ground, is it?" Ashley growled as she whipped out a scalpel blade and held it against Karen's neck. "So, start talking. What did you do to me? Why?"

Karen kept her calm as she had a feeling it was going to come to this. "You were dying, Ash."

Ashley eyes narrowed and the blade appeared dangerously close to cutting skin open, "Yeah, I can thank you for that."

"When you collapsed on Shanxi, I brought you here, because I knew they wouldn't have been able to save you if anything happened. So, I used everything I had on this ship to bring you back."

"And what did you do with 'everything'? Why am I whole again?"

"Did you believe me when I said that Cerberus used some serious money to bring me back to life when, by all rights, I was dead?"

"Yes." There was a moment of hesitation."You... you did the same for me? How?" Ashley whispered as her anger began to subside slightly.

"This ship has the best equipment in the galaxy. That's how Dr. Chakwas was able to save you and treat you after... what I did."

There was a tense moment as Ashley slowly let go of Shepard's hands, pulled the scalpel away and stood up to allow Karen to do the same.

When Shepard got a good look at her former squad mate, she wasn't surprised to see Ashley in the same top physical form she had been when they had first met. Her eyes were full, her skin had gotten its color back, and all traces of the diseases she had suffered from were nonexistent. Granted, the hospital gown covered quite a bit, but her exposed arms and legs showed the same leanness and tone that she herself had. The only thing missing were the scars Shepard had when she awoke, but felt it better that way.

There was still suspicion and anger in Ash's eyes, however, the violence had dissipated.

"Ash, can we talk?"

The second human Spectre regarded her former squadmate with a neutral countenance for a long while before she nodded.

"Yeah. I think so."

* * *

ONE MONTH LATER...

"I hope you realize that I'm opposed to all-" MIranda started before Jack cut her off.

"Shut it, Cheerleader. I was hoping the Spectre girl would ask for a rematch. Last time was boring as hell and I wanna see some blood on both of them this time!" Jack said as she swayed eagerly on a steel crate in the corner with Miranda at the prospect seeing violence first-hand not caused by her.

In the center of the cargo hold both Karen and Ashley, both in tudo shorts and sports bras, prepared themselves when they had come to the conclusion the day before, the best way for them to finally settle the long standing dispute was for them to slug each other into a pulp.

Nothing at stake. Nothing to win. Just pure, 'good natured' brawling that was encouraged among the servicemen of the fleet to ensure they were kept strong and encourage camaraderie. However, both of the combatants locked their gazes on one another. The resentment in Ashley's eyes still burned hot, however the violence had long since dissipated. Shepard's met her eyes and nodded, they both knew what was to happen. The match was to end when the first of them dropped.

"And don't you dare hold back on me, Shepard. It was insulting enough the last time," Ashley said as she cracked her knuckles.

"Don't worry, Ash. If Chakwas and Mordin are right, you've gotten the newer models of the things that keep me alive as well, but remember; I've broken my upgrades in for longer than you have," Karen replied as she tied the tape over her hands.

"So, two Frankenstein monsters with the intention of beating the shit out of each other. It's almost poetic," she said as she rolled her neck to get the last few pops out of her reconstructed neck.

"Poetic? So, where's the Tennyson?" Shepard said with a smirk, "Or have you gotten so bitter you've forgotten it?"

Ashley frowned as she held up her head and spoke proudly, "_'Forward the Light Brigade!' Was there a man dismay'd? Not tho' the soldier knew, Some one had blunder'd. Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die. Into the valley of Death, Rode the six hundred._"

"There's the Ashley I know," Shepard said as she raised her fists in preparation.

"Yeah, the Ashley that's going to kick your ass for what you've done," Ashley said without mirth as she raised her own hands.

"Do your worst," Shepard said, matching her countenance.

"Don't worry, I will," Ashley said as both soldiers began to circle each other on the mat. Both woman stood poised, like cobras, each one waiting for the other to make the first move or to telegraph their intentions.

To Ashley, it was uncanny. Before the operation, she was having a hard time even seeing straight. Now, every single minute detail of Shepard's body was like an open book for her to read. No doubt, Shepard also read the slight twitch in her calf. A slight itch that had vanished as quickly as it appeared.

She also felt more alive than ever before. When she first met Wrex, she was more than capable of holding her own against him. Now? She felt she could take on an entire squad of Krogan by herself and win. Synapses fired faster, eye movement was quicker, her skeleton was tougher, and her muscles more resilient. It was also disconcerting to think that not a month before, she was nothing more than skin and bones. Now, she was a specimen of humanity that could easily outclass most marines and soldiers.

And she was only the second of two.

Her thoughts on her condition would have to wait as in an unspoken signal, both women charged each other. Both aware that they could cause damage to one another with a reckless attack, all four hands collided as their palms slapped together and their fingers intertwined in a contest of brute strength.

Both of them strained and used all their might to beat the other as a conversation they had not too long ago replayed through both of their heads.

_I was angry with you, Ash. _

Ashley had gotten her feet in a more stable position than Karen did and was beginning to overpower the first human Spectre, however, the instant she felt her opponent purposefully give way to fall down, she let go and hopped back. Since Shepard knew her feint had failed after she landed, she used the opportunity to regroup.

_Because of what I did?_

Ashley didn't get her the chance to stand back up as she quickly closed the distance and took hold of Shepard's torso from above.

_Partly, yeah. But I was angry with you for another reason._

Karen quickly grabbed Ashley's ankles, and while she wouldn't be able to use any offensive moves, she was able to prevent Ashley from picking her up.

_And that was?_

Aware of Shepard's intention, Ashley strained her back, arms, and legs to overpower her grip and literally throw her into the air and on the other side of the mat to the shock and awe of Miranda and Jack.

_Because... I saw Ashley Williams break her word. When I thought of Ashley Williams, I thought of the soldier's soldier. The model. The ideal. The one person I could trust my life to without thinking._

Karen quickly stood up, only to block a right cross from Ashley a moment before it would have collided with her face, however, the shockwave from the blow reverberated through her arm and torso.

_And me breaking my promise to your crewmates shattered that?_

The instant Ashley's first blow was blocked, a second from her other hand quickly took its place and collided with Shepard's stomach, just below her ribcage.

_...yes._

With Ashley being as close as she was, Karen was able to tuck her hand and forearm in and immediately hit Ashley's cheek with her elbow.

_Then why subject me to that ordeal? Why not just beat me, take the prize, let me know that, and leave?_

Williams used the momentum of the blow to quickly spin around and back-fist Shepard off her feet.

_Because, in my anger, a part of me still saw myself as your superior officer and felt you needed to be taught a lesson. I also realized it was a lesson that I never learned._

Shepard landed on the ground on all fours and quickly spun herself around to sweep Ashley's feet out from under her.

_What was that?_

Ashley rolled away before Shepard could try and pin her, only to stand up and throw a punch that Shepard didn't even try to dodge. The blow connected cleanly, but like a rubber band, Karen rebounded and struck Ashley in a similar fashion.

Time became meaningless as both former Spectres continually struck each other relentlessly. A pool of sweat gathered at their feet as it seemed the two would continue to exchange blows until the end of eternity. A shockwave, accompanied by droplets of sweat and blood, burst from each blow, which would have seriously wounded anyone else. However, Williams and Shepard were made of stronger stuff.

At this point, Miranda was clearly worried that the two combatants were ready to kill each other. All the excitement in Jack turned to outright fear as she got a better look of the two. Both of their faces were locked in permanent snarls as the fight wore on. All the anger and bitterness that had built up since Horizon and Omega had returned in force and had manifested itself in a geyser of ruthless violence.

However, the Convict and the former Cerburus agent didn't dare disrupt them, because Shepard had instructed them implicitly not to interfere. They needed this. They were soldiers. All that could have been said had been said. Now, the instinct to fight would be the determining factor as to what would happen next.

Both their faces swollen, bleeding, and soaked to the bone with sweat, both Spectres threw another punch at each other and connected at the same time. They staggered away a few feet before Shepard charged in and attack with her right fist, only to see it miss Ashley's head by an inch. Though her opponent's hand was drawn back when Ashley closed in, it was only then that she had realized her mistake too late.

_That the differences between a hero and a monster can be negligible, if nonexistent._

The top of Ashley's head collided with Karen's face so hard that the impact sent her tumbling back and down, while the former continued to stand, though with great difficultly. In a pool of her own perspiration, Shepard tried to force herself to her feet, however, even with grit teeth and all the effort she could muster, she simply lay back on the ground, defeated.

_I failed you, Ash. I'm so sorry._

Above, Ashly struggled to stay up. Her breath roared in her ears as she tried to keep her thoughts straight. When she saw herself the victor, she normally would have felt a sense of... pride? Accomplishment? Vindication? She wasn't sure anymore. In fact, she started to feel empty when she took into account that for nearly an hour, she and her former CO had done nothing beat each other senseless.

When her breath started to return, Ashley stood as tall as she could, looked down to Shepard with the eye that wasn't swollen shut and found her thoughts a jumble. However, there was a single idea that she could voice words to.

"For what it's worth, Skipper," Ashley said as she took several more breaths, "I don't hate you anymore."

Shepard's lips, though swollen, curled up into a small smile. "I can live with that," she whimpered before unconsciousness took her.

With great difficulty, Ash hauled the unconscious body of Karen Shepard, with assistance from Jack and Miranda, back to the infirmary. Chakwas was going to be... unhappy.

* * *

Another few days, and several soul rending lectures from Dr. Chakwas about them fighting like schoolyard boys, Ashley felt the urge to return to action and felt her time was better spent elsewhere. Though she had reconciled with Shepard, to a point, she still needed some time.

"Are you sure you won't stay, Ash? We could use a soldier like you, since there's no better soldier than a Williams."

Ashley threw the duffel bag with a change of clothes and credits over her shoulder and smiled back at Karen. "Thanks, but flattery will get you nowhere with me, Skipper. You know that."

Shepard shrugged, "Well, I had to try. Oh, and Liara sends her best. She'll get in contact with you and help reinstate your Spectre status."

Williams nodded. "Sounds good," she said as she boarded the unmarked shuttle that would take her back to Amaterasu. She had to assure her family and Rhia, despite reassuring calls from Liara, that she was alright.

"Hey," Ashely's said as she poked her head out, "When the Reapers attack, you can be sure I'll be there to help."

Karen smiled, "I'll be counting on it. And Ash?"

"Yes?"

Karen extended her hand. "Don't be a stranger."

Ashley paused for a moment as she stared as Shepard's hand, but then, something inside won out and she clasped Shepard's hand and shook it. "You too, Skipper."

When the Kodiak's passenger took her seat, the VI closed the door and slowly, the shuttle departed. When it had cleared the Normandy, Shepard received a message from Liara.

'We need to talk. Now.'

It also came with a picture.

When Shepard opened the picture, a small smile appeared on her face. She turned on her communicator, "Joker, set a course of Hagalaz, if you would."

The End


End file.
